Thursday, April 29, 2010

What is he thinking?- An emotional rant about teenage boys that are not like DA

Okay, I had to take a break from commenting while the "Charice-gate" controversy was going on. I never had any doubts as to what David actually had done or had meant to do, but I decided to refrain from joining in this insane conversation. Trust the Archuleta, that's my motto. Now that most of fandom is back to normal I think I will try a new entry here.

David never fails to amaze me when it comes to his philosophy on life. Whether it be answers to interviewers' questions or quotes he tweets to us, it is hard at times to remember that he is only 19 years old. On top of that, he is a 19 year old guy. Now I don't want to generalize and say that all teenage guys are stupid, as my daughter believes, but most don't use all of their brain cells to there fullest. I speak from experience here as the mother of an almost 16 year old son, a leader in son's Boy Scout troop, and the former "adoptive" mother of daughter's now ex- boyfriend who is 18. Now there is a boy who is the opposite of David.

Not to use any names here, I will call this boy "Just Confused". Now "JC" comes from a very sad family situation. Dad left when he found out mom was pregnant. " JC" doesn't even know what nationality his dad is, mom won't tell him. "JC" has never seen him. Mom hasn't been the best at providing for "JC". When he was in elementary school they did not have a place to live so they travelled from one friends house to another, sleeping on the floor wherever they could. "JC" was a troubled youth and consequently failed 7th grade. Saddle that with the fact that he has an early fall birthday and that makes him considerably older than all of the kids in his grade. When "JC" reached high school he and his mother moved in with his "uncle" who was soon after diagnosed with cancer. The first male influence in the boy's life would not be able to benefit him after all.

"JC" met my daughter online, as seems to be the norm now, in early summer 2009. Silly girl fell for him hard. The weekend before Thanksgiving JC's "uncle" died and uncle's family came and took all of the stuff that they wanted from the house and left "JC" and his mom with little much of their own and no place to live. The semester was not over and "JC" had no where to live so we allowed him to stay with us, sleeping on a mat in our son's room. We didn't have a spare room for him to take. Mom promised that she would find a place for them to live asap and everything would be better before school resumed in January. Of course this did not happen. The holidays and winter break passed and "JC" was still sleeping on my son's bedroom floor. Now my husband is a very good Christian man but can tolerate just so much. The 18 year old bf of our daughter living with us was not easy for him. He trusted our daughter but not necessarily the boy. The fact that boy's mom was doing nothing to compensate us for the enormous amount the boy ate or the fact that she wasn't looking to take him back finally got to my husband and JC had to move out. He went to stay with a friend from school who has his own dysfunctional family. Not the best but we tried. With the new living situation JC and Amanda did not see each other very much. He said that his new "Mom" wouldn't let him come over to visit or attend church with us. Within a couple of weeks daughter and JC had broken up. He told her that he "didn't know how he felt about her any more." Amanda was crushed at first but quickly came to realize that "God is in control and if they are to be together then it will all work out."
JC wanted her back a couple of days later but she was determined to take it slow. And good thing that she did because he proceeded to breakup and get back together two more times before she said enough. Not even friends any more. Just don't call me.

I can't believe how strong my daughter is. At her age I was an emotional wreck when it came to boys. I wanted to do anything to please them. Not Amanda. At 18 years of age she has the strongest morals and I am so proud of her. She has listened to every Christian teaching ever presented to her and internalized the valuable material forming her into the incredible Christian woman she is today. Word to the wise boys, she is not going to do something that she knows is not right. Since Amanda broke up with JC for the final time this past weekend, she does not have a date for her senior Prom on May 15.

Most girls would think that this might be the "end of the world" but not Amanda. She is going no matter what. I asked her why some other boy from her school had not asked her since it was all over Facebook that she and JC had broken up for good. She had the best answer for me. "None of the boys at my school are going to ask me because they all expect their dates to go partying afterwards and then have sex with them and they know that I'm not going to do either of those so it is pointless to ask." Wow! Just wow.

I hate to tell JC this, and I might be a little biased, but he really blew it. He had the best girl that he could have ever found ready to commit to him, possibly forever, and he chased her away with doubt and jealousy.

Hey David, are you available for a high school Prom on May 15 in Austin, TX? I know. Just a mom's wishful thinking.

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